It’s about that time again, for your updated weather report! This, however, is more like an emotional barometer report, and a nice, heartfelt front is certainly coming in, shortly after this news brief:
[[[[Trigger Warning for those whom I love dearly, experiencing PTSD from war, occupation, bombs; avoid the first link below.]]]
New ways of healing amidst all the chaos in the world, specifically in Gaza & Palestine right now, weigh heavily in my heart and on my mind. Here is a video soon from Cakalak Thunder, showing our support/ solidarity with the people of Gaza & Palestine, and is just one way of trying to heal together, during this assault. How do you heal individually, and as a community through this? What are some ways in which you are reaching out, standing up, fighting back, boycotting during this time?
I am about one week away from my first day of graduate school at Daoist Traditions! This summer really flew by, but I’ve had an amazing, adventurous and reflective time! I’ve had the joy of sharing in loving commitments being made, friendships being re-kindled, newer friendships growing stronger, and I am now on the path of my return, big time.
I’ve been extremely inspired lately by all of my friends; their hard work, dedication and rawkus ways of being in the world; the feelings they share, the beautiful knowledge and bodies and bodies of knowledge. They shine. Maybe I’m listening more intently? They speak volumes with their actions, and subtle, universal hints, like raindrops, fill pools in my ears and those pools create gullies, that flow into rivers, that flow into oceans and return to my heart.
If you had the chance to trace these roots, chase these ever flowing waters, would you do it? Would you be intimidated? Nervous? I am Honduran diaspora. I have assimilated. I am scared. I was having a really beautiful conversation ( all weekend, with so many, really), but this one, in particular was with my friend, Sijal, a fellow comrade, music maker, and dreamer of dreams. We were speaking about connections of love and beyond. The importance of cultural and historical ties to who we are, whom our heart seeks, where we come from, and where we’re going. The instances in our lives were hitting so close to that home in my heart, it was as if the paper person slapped the daily news right on my front door mat, and my emotions were in the headlines. In bold.
I returned home from a beautiful weekend this past Monday, and was settling in to watch a documentary series on Netflix entitled “Black in Latin America.” I’ve always looked for connections, cultural and historical references to my motherland & city of birth; connections to my blood roots, and home, connections to other transnational adoptees. It has been so strange growing up to realize that there is a whole huge chunk of my life that makes up who I’ve been, who I am, and who I’m becoming, and it’s all been such an unsolved mystery. So much so, that what I’m about to tell you is the beginnings of unraveling and unpacking that mystery,which is beyond exciting. Maybe the dude from Unsolved Mysteries should be narrating this whole thing? Really though, David Attenborough is more fitting.
Those documentaries are really, very cool, and packed with wonderful information, and you should definitely check them out. Still, though, there was nothing on Honduras, and specifically, the city in which I was born: San Pedro Sula. I paused the videos, and began searching online for other documentaries that were about my city, but the only things I could find were about its high homicide rates, the 2009 coup d’etat, gang and drug activity and known as one of the most dangerous cities, outside of war zones, in the world.
As the world wide web continues to evolve and expand, searching on Facebook for groups and people is becoming easier with time. I have been looking up my city, Garifuna, and other groups over the last several years. I haven’t had my adoption papers for very long. They were given to me in my early twenties, and never translated. Some people have always asked really ignorant and hurtful questions or made definitive statements like ” If I was adopted, I would have never stopped looking for my birth family,” or ” You’re not trying hard enough to look, are you?”
I have been looking whole heartedly for years, now, folks! But when you are coming from a third world country from 1986, and as you can see from the links above that there is deep, historically imbedded violence and governmental corruption , do you think it’s easy to find legal documentation on people there? The answer is no. They do not keep legal records well.
Anyway, as I was scrolling through a Facebook page on San Pedro Sula, that I’ve scrolled through many times before, I noticed my cursor had glided over one girl, and some information popped up saying that we had ONE mutual friend. I clicked on her page and noticed a few things: her name is very pretty, she looks very young ( but I also look pretty young), she was born in San Pedro Sula, Cortes (me too!), she lives there currently, and our one mutual friend is from UNC-G.
For so long, this past has been so distant, and I could have never imagined prelude to anything, but here it was, here she was, starring back at me. I messaged her right away, not knowing if this would go to her Inbox or “Other” Inbox on Facebook with this:
Hola Cecille! I am writing you out of hope and desperation. I see we have a wonderful mutual friend, Ben , whom I went to college with. How do you two know each other? I am really writing you because I came across your name, and it said your hometown was San Pedro Sula, Honduras! I am an adoptee from there and have lived in the US for the last 28 years of my life. I feel so far removed from my ancestry and heritage, and am looking for help in finding / returning to my roots and my birth family. Any help would be greatly appreciated! I currently live in the mountains, in North Carolina. Can you help me in any way? I have a lot of information about my adoption, and am wondering if you, or anyone you may know, can help me return home and to feel whole again? I would be forever grateful to you. With light & love, Joy PS I am attaching this picture capturing my birth mother, Irma Anjelica Rosa, and my adoptive mother, Joanie Hatter Schreiber meeting for the very first time back in 1986. My heart longs for my birth mother. Please help me find a way back to her.
and then I attached a picture of them meeting for the first time. I was about to shut my computer down for the night when I received a message back from her:
Hey Joy… we were hall mates in school with Ben…I think I could find a way to help. I need more information. I am a lawyer in Honduras.
I immediately began smiling, shaking, crying, laughing out of this untapped reservoir of emotions. It was part of a release. I knew she was the guide I had been waiting for. Not only is Cecille a lawyer, she’s a freakin’ Attorney General in my home city!
This story gets even better…
Not only is she working/ interested in international & corporate law, she can work with any kind she wants, and because I had all of my adoptions papers, we were off to a good start. I apologized for not being able to speak fluently, or even at all, to her, but she reassured me that it was OK, and that she spoke fluently in Spanish and English, and not to worry. I told her my mother’s ID # was in the documents, and I wasn’t sure what information that would provide. She said that it could be her Honduran ID, but that you cannot track someone based on it. However, she would go to the registry to look up her registered domicile. She told me that she did not want to get my hopes up, because people often move without notifying authorities, but with her ID #, she would be able to tell me whether my mother, Irma Angelica Rosa, is alive or dead.
On top of all of that, I came back around to asking how she knew our mutual friend, Ben, from UNC-G, and how I had never met her, if she had also been a student there for undergrad. She said they were hall mates in the dormitory, but that it was not at UNC-G…She had been living here, in Asheville, going to school for one year, since she was on an ambassadorial scholarship sponsored by Rotary International!
So, here I wait very patiently, for the universe to unfold as it may, for its many answers, and its many blessings. The date I wrote Cecille was July 28, 2014. I will be 28 in a few days, on August 6, 1986 and my Saturn Returns on December 24, 2014 , the day that I was brought to my American home in 1986.
Life, and Love, your strong and humble energy sustains me. THANK YOU!